Ticked off

A few months ago i wrote an entry about signs. they are everywhere. they are like fairies, tinkerbells if you will, appearing to announce good news, giving us a little magic to encourage our doubtful hearts and mysteriously aligning the universe to lead us into a direction that we unknowingly have already began to head towards. some call it coincidence, others believe its synchronicity, but whatever it is, they exist in our day to day lives and should never be ignored or brushed aside. now, having said that, i have a story to share. a few days ago, i was speaking with a good friend of mine, cornbread. cornbread captivated me with a grotesque tale of how a tick had yet created a parasitic relationship with the epidermus on his stomach. what he first thought to believe was an itchy scab, manifested into a tiny sac that hung around like an unmotivated college buddy that just needed to crash for ‘a night’. yikes. im from los angeles, either its cleaner here, or im just not outdoorsy enough, but ticks to me are in the same category as other notorious creatures like the boogeyman, the abominable snow man, things that go bump in the night.  Ticks aren’t supposed to happen to me….right?!? well, turns out the universe had a different plan for me and ticks. Last night as i lay awake typing on my keyboard, my new little friend crawled off my hand and onto my laptop. it was in a rather slow-mo kinda way, like when you have to take a double take and convince yourself that, yes, your neighbor is mowing his lawn in a lemon colored speedo…but i digress. i just grabbed a tissue and scooped up that little intruder and flushed it down the toilet. before you could say lime disease, i was on google researching everything anyone would hate to know about this little monsters. paralysis, transferable disease…DEATH. i was in trouble. big trouble. i ran my fingers on every pore of my body waiting to feel a bump, a scab, a new formation on the topography of my surface…until i got to my back. there was only one thing i could do: wake up susan. i knocked on her door incessantly until i heard a groan. i whispered through the crack to let me in as if i had vital information to share, as if only i could utter the words that could save mankind. she finally let me  in, groggy and innocent. i took off my shirt and said, “tick. on my hand. i can die. check back. please. now. NOW.” she inspected me like a admissions prison guard, everything short of squat and cough. nothing. Nothing?! i questioned. she was tired and annoyed and i knew that if it wasn’t a tick, she’d give me something to complain about…so i left. a little shaken, rather doubtful, but somewhat appeased by the due diligence. all there was left to do, was to let the hypochondria subside and hulu. i turned on the latest episode of royal pains and watched intently, all the while lifting up the sheets and checking to make sure there wasn’t a family of ticks moving into my leg or my armpit. the feeling wouldn’t go away, and although i was engrossed in the storyline of a healthy highschool athlete suddenly immobilized by a mysterious condition, the ticks scurried around my brain like ants to a picnic. it was chaos. so here it is, the punchline, the ending to my story. the ending of the episode was sooo horrific, i am surprised im able to type these words at this very moment. the boy, with the mysterious disease was miraculously cured as Dr. Hank Lawson pulled a tiny deer tick out of his ear. A tick. A FUCKING tick. I almost lost it. i couldn’t sleep. ticks were in my thoughts, i felt them on my body. I even woke up to put earplugs in my ear to make sure none would call it there new home. So, in hindsight, i’m thinking to myself that this has to be a sign. but for what?! what do ticks represent? teeth usually symbolize embarrassment, death – joy, etc etc…but ticks? apparently, on dream dictionary ticks in dreams mean: 

  

Ticks

• To dream you see ticks crawling on your flesh, is a sign of impoverished circumstances and ill health. Hasty journeys to sick beds may be made.
• To mash a tick on you, denotes that you will be annoyed by treacherous enemies.
• To see in your dreams large ticks on stock, enemies are endeavoring to get possession of your property by foul means.

This doesn’t make sense, because i didn’t dream about them, and c’mon lets be serious, i don’t want to own this sign. rather, in a pointless and blogworthy way, i’ve decided to consider it a meaningless coincidence. im ticked off. ticks invaded my life yesterday, but to believe that rubbish above would be more parasitic then an arachnoid species that happened to congregate in time and space in my life yesterday. so, the point….well, there isn’t one…but the conclusion…ticks suck and the dream dictionary can be a very dangerous playground if you let it be. so there it is. ticks and me. not the best friends, but can dwell peacefully from here on out. ciao my darlings.